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Some Motherly Advice To My Male Readers

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I have an acquaintance who just found out she’s pregnant. She’s my age (early thirties) and the father is a 24-year-old guy who had recently broken up with her, but apparently they got together one last time and . . . boom.

She’s emphatically keeping it.


They used condoms, but apparently one broke. And now his life is completely changed, and there’s nothing he can do about it.

It is important to realize that MEN HAVE NO REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS in Western countries once their semen has left their body. So what can you do to avoid this situation?

  1. Always use condoms, every time, even if she’s on the pill, even if she claims she’s had tubal ligation, even if she’s 42 (n.b. ESPECIALLY if she’s 42).
  2. Even when using condoms, ALWAYS PULL OUT before you come. This is the only way to ensure against condom breakage.
  3. Flush that shit when you’re done. In wastewater treatment facilities, condoms and other debris get strained out of the water before it’s treated and released into the ocean or wherever.

It’s not fair or good that this should be the only sexual experience a man can have without fear of being an unintended parent. But it’s the way the world currently is. Don’t get caught out there, guys. Your reproductive rights begin and end with your semen; control that stuff before it gets made into a baby.

Have fun!


Written by Sister Y

May 3, 2011 at 6:10 pm

Posted in condoms, gender, sex, withdrawal