The View from Hell

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How Babies Destroy Your Fuckability: Female Edition

with 6 comments

Don’t worry.

Your body will still be beautiful after your pregnancy . . . in a way.

Your husband will still find you sexually attractive . . . sort of.

He won’t cheat on you . . . and if he does, it’s not the end of the world.

You’ll be able to lose the weight . . . probably.

The sagging skin isn’t such a big deal.

You brought life into the world – and that makes you beautiful.

You can learn to see beauty in yourself – even if most men don’t.

It will all be worth it in the end.

“You’re not a real woman until people come out of your vagina and step on your dreams.” –Louis CK

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Written by Sister Y

July 8, 2010 at 1:01 am

6 Responses

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  1. This one is much more humorous than the “Male Edition.”

    Modern Man

    July 8, 2010 at 1:33 am

  2. Thanks – although I think that between the two posts, I've exceeded my monthly allowance of smugness.

    Sister Y

    July 8, 2010 at 1:39 am

  3. Wow, my eyeballs just fell out. Great posts. The male edition rocks, too. And I wouldn't worry about smugness, if I were you. I don't think it's physically possible to outsmug breeders.

    CM

    July 10, 2010 at 12:12 am

  4. You're in good company if you're feeling smug. I just read (in The Conspiracy Against…) that Cioran considered 1) quitting smoking and 2) avoiding breeding as his two most important accomplishments in life (an accomplishment of omission–I love it!) I have long felt the same way about being smart enough not to drink the Kool-Aid and procreate. Why, I'm patting myself on my toned back right now! I consider it poetic justice that twats get mutilated, belly skin scarred, and wallets emptied as results of the unchecked impulse to breed.

    Anonymous

    July 10, 2010 at 12:45 am

  5. So someone did finally get CATHR? Good for you, anon. I ordered my copy almost a month ago, and nothing yet.

    CM

    July 10, 2010 at 4:05 am

  6. The book is buyable at Amazon at this moment.

    P.S. I have got ugly stretch marks, and I am a guy! Life sucks!

    The Plague Doctor

    July 10, 2010 at 6:21 pm


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